http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf
I remember the first time that I saw this wheel. I honestly felt relief and anguish at the same time. On the one hand I was relieved that what I experienced was recognised “in the world” as being “real”. On the otherhand I felt immense anguish that I had suffered for nine years inside the power and control wheel without knowing what was at play. We have heard the cliche “knowledge is power” and “seeing is believing” what it makes possible when women see themselves in this cycle of abuse is the possibility of freedom, fulfillment and new beginnings. There is not any need at all, to suffer in silence. I was isolated and experienced being alone. Please familiarise yourself with this wheel. Comment here, by discussing what we learn about Domestic Violence including power and control and other forms of abuse we become equipped with the knowledge to change either our situation or someone else’s. It is not okay to observe and not speak up. By staying quiet, we sentence the people we know to a life of suffering. I invite you to speak up today. Consider, if you witness the kinds of behaviours in the wheel of power and control at a dinner party or visit a family member or friend, what is it like behind closed doors? I assert that it is far worse when nobody else is listening or looking. Be brave, be a hero!
Save a life today, tomorrow and in the future. Inform yourself and inform others.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Great insight. Reileved I’m on the same side as you.
Thank you for sharing Terrah, I acknowledge the courage it takes to leave a comment. Here’s to you!
I left my extremely abusive marriage on August 28, 2010 after being strangled every time he became enraged, which was as often as every few weeks….for 12 years. I brought a 7 year old daughter into the marriage, she is now 20 and she also was strangled by my husband through the years. I had 2 more children with him, a girl and a boy. The youngest, my son, was strangled in front of his sister. She was 8, he was 6. They didnt tell me till recently, now that they’re safe from abuse. The last time he laid his hands on me I got so close to death that I gave up struggling and let death come. God saved me that night…only God. Since leaving my marriage, my children and I in therapy, life has not gotten easier. My parents, brothers and numeorous friends have deserted us. I kept the abuse well hidden from everyone and finally spoke out- to the WORLD! It felt so good to tell, but unfortunately many people cant accept it and they walk away…..its been painful to lose my support one by one. I am having a hard time explaining this not only to myself but to my children as well. They miss the family and I feel victimized all over again. People have not been very nice to me for stopping the cycle of violence, but I know I have to accept it and stay strong. My children will never experience those horrors again.
Being the tallest poppy in the field can be lonesome. Even from a distance, its beauty remains a symbol of beauty, freedom and peace. Go well. You are an unsung hero!